Fragile Things
by kuromiluv
Summary: Renesmee Cullen is by nature a reckless girl and Jasper Hale can be very dangerous. Events are set into motion that will change everything they know. What will happen when still hearts beat again and the world as they know it is irrevocably altered?
1. the taste of ink

She gasped and shrunk back into the shadows

"Renesmee." A young girl of about sixteen swirled and danced around the room. An extraordinarily beautiful girl… the kind of beautiful you only read about or imagined, but never actually saw with your own eyes. She smiled and tilted her head when he said her name, but didn't stop her swaying. She giggled at his frown. She knew he didn't like being interrupted when he was writing, but she enjoyed his annoyance… savored the feeling as it rolled over her body. She bit down on her lower lip to stop from laughing aloud.

"Give me attention!" He sighed and looked up at her as she made her way over to the giant desk he was seated at. He took a deep breath and held it, afraid of her scent. She noticed and bit down harder on her full red lip.

"I can't right now, Nessie. You know I'm busy. Where's Alice?" She pretended to pout as she climbed on top of the desk so they were facing each other, her smooth white legs stretching out to rest her feet on either side of him. He turned his head to the side, he wouldn't look at her. His frustration nearly knocked her over and she sighed. Her warm breath tingled as it danced across the side of his face… still, he didn't take a breath.

"She's out, with my mother." Her eyebrows were drawn together as her mouth formed the words. She disliked speaking aloud. Why didn't he fawn over her, how could he be so cold? It frustrated her endlessly. When all it took was one glance for even the strongest men to melt at her big innocent eyes, why was _**he**_ so clearly unaffected? Who was he to dismiss her? Why did he put so much effort into keeping a distance between them? His knuckles were white as his hands gripped the arms of the chair. She reached out to touch his forehead but he jerked away from her touch. She stomped her foot on the chair, shaking him. When his eyes finally met hers a smiled caressed her features as he continued to frown.

"Why do you do that?" He looked down at his lap and shook his head.

"Do what?"

"You know what! You never let me talk to you."

"We seem to be talking now, are we not?"

"You KNOW what I mean!"

He didn't respond. She sighed. She thought back to the conversations she'd had with other members of her family… the Cullen family. Renesmee wasn't like the rest of them, she was special. She was alive. They had warned her about her uncle. He didn't have the same control the rest of them did. He was more easily…. Tempted. She thought back to a few years earlier… not a clear memory, but shards of a day forgotten by everyone but him. Lost moments flashed in her mind- a sharp pain as the glass sliced her pinky, wide black eyes, growls, being yanked out of the room. He had avoided her ever since then and everyone else had forgotten, or at least was polite enough to pretend.

"I don't think you would hurt me." She smiled and leaned in closer to him. "I know you would never hurt me dear uncle." He wouldn't look at her. "What is it that's so dangerous about this? About you?" She leaned in even closer. She was immersed in his smell… so different from the rest- cleaner, sharper and it sent her pulse racing. Maybe the fact that she never got this close to him made her react differently to his scent. She had never felt like this before… anticipating… anticipating she didn't know what.

"Where is Jacob?" She shrugged; annoyed that he would bring up her boyfriend. She steeled herself. She was more determined than ever.

"Is it this?" She held her arm in front of his face. "Is it the blue?" She traced one of her veins with a manicured fingernail and smiled when she felt his body shudder despite himself.

"Renesmee," he whispered. It came out hoarse and broken from not breathing. She scooted even closer to him. He sat completely still, frozen in place, not moving except to close his eyes.

She had always been over indulged. It was her nature that made it impossible for anyone NOT to bend to her whims… anyone except _**him**_. She loved the way she felt in this moment… reckless, scared, and excited. Her heart was pounding. She knew he could hear it. She knew it was killing him. She scooted onto his lap, and he made no move to push her off.

"I trust you. I think I'm the only one, but I do…" He gasped and opened his eyes. She had hurt him by saying it out loud, she knew, but she felt no guilt. She enjoyed playing games, and this was turning into the most fun she'd had in ages.

His pupils dilated at his sharp intake of air. His chest expanded, his knuckled cracked as he gripped the chair even harder. She shifted in his lap and leaned her forehead against his left cheek. His body was shaking. She was in heaven. She turned and grabbed something off the desk. He couldn't see what it was; he was just trying to keep himself together… trying not to breathe.

"What are you trying to do? Please, Nessie… go." She smirked at the desperation radiating off him.

"I'm going to show you." He opened his mouth to reply but she cut him off. "I'm going to show you just how strong you really are." She lifted her hand and his eyes widened when he saw what she held. Light from the window bounced off the intricately carved metal and she smiled. He tried to move then, but he was weakened from his internal struggle and the adrenaline pumping through her veins made her stronger than usual.

"N-no. No."

"You can do this. I know you can."

"No. You have to stop. Now. This isn't one of your games. Now get off me." She didn't move. She wanted to see. She was curious. She was stupid.

She held the letter opener to her wrist. His eyes got wide. He was visibly shaking. He wanted to stop her but was paralyzed. He stared at her face with his big black eyes and took a deep breath. Her scent flowed into his lungs, almost drowning him. He whimpered. She smiled almost lovingly. He hated her. He wanted to scream at her, but he couldn't. He couldn't _**move**_.

"Now listen. You can have a drink my darling uncle. But NO BITING." She ran her fingers through his hair and this time he didn't jerk away from her. She sent an image of herself to his mind. She was almost completely naked lying on the bed he shared with his wife. His hungry mouth was attached to her neck. She was writhing beneath him, begging him to finish her.

He growled low and deep in his chest. She shivered and wriggled in his lap. She had his undivided attention. If only for this short time, he was all hers and she would go to any lengths to keep him. He was on fire, she could tell.

She loved the way his body was reacting to her and surprised at the way she was reacting to him. She arched her body into his, rubbing against his hardness. His eyes followed her hand, seemingly fascinated, as she held the letter opener to her wrist.

"Just. A. Drink. Do you hear me?" His eyes slipped closed and he opened his mouth. No words came out, only a low hiss. He ran his tongue across his teeth and she could see the venom, yet she wasn't afraid. His emotions bled from every pore, and she drank them in. The thirst… God, it was almost unbearable but it sent shockwaves of pleasure down her spine knowing it was a thirst for her.

She pressed the sharp metal against her skin adding pressure until a thin line of crimson formed. He was so weak. She smiled. He was so weak for her. His head was tilted back, mouth open, eyes closed again, not breathing. She dropped the knife and curled her fingers in his hair at his neck and pulled his head upright. His eyes slowly opened, completely black with thirst and bore into hers with a passion she had never seen.

She lifted her wrist to his lips. For a moment that almost stretched into forever he didn't move at all. Then she felt his lips move slowly, gently, almost not moving at all. She pulled her wrist back. Her blood was smeared across his mouth. He groaned as his tongue ran over his lips and raised his hips off the chair. She gasped and ground her hips down into him, massaging the bugle in his pants with her new wetness.

"More?" He looked wild, untamed, and unimaginably sexy. Licking the corner of his mouth he nodded. She held up her wrist again and he leaned forward, attaching his mouth to her wound. She could feel the blood rushing out of her, faster… faster… her heart was pounding. She watched him in awe. Blood gathered in the corners of his mouth and dripped down his chin. It was beautiful. It was terrifying.

She was starting to get light headed. She yanked her wrist back. His eyes rolled back into his head and then met hers again. Shock. Fear. The appropriate feelings were finally fighting their way to the surface of her being. His eyes were red… deep and bright at the same time.

This was the moment, she knew, when she would see how much control he really had. He was licking his teeth; they were covered in blood… her blood. It was smeared all over his face, down his chin and neck. He was trembling, every inch of him, as his tongue reached out around his mouth trying to get every drop he could. His fingers laced hers and he brought her wrist back up to his mouth. He licked her now healing cut gently, reverently.

"Renesmee. Oh God, what am I doing? What have I done?" He spoke so softly she could barely make out the words. If he could cry, she was sure he would be. He grabbed her and shoved him off her with renewed force. She looked up at his glowing eyes from the floor and shivered, instantly missing his closeness. He wiped his face with the back of his arm, and then licked the smeared blood.

"It's okay… don't you see? How strong you are? You were amazing!" His head was in his hands. He growled. Fury. It practically punched her in the face. He turned and made his way from the room.

"Wait… you don't have to leave… you don't have to go" She called after him from her spot on the floor. "You don't have to go…" He didn't look back before he shut the door.

"Jasper… Jasper, please" It was no use, she knew.

Renesmee was still sitting in the same spot looking at her wrist, now completely healed. She didn't hear the door re-open and didn't hear the footsteps approaching her.

"What the fuck just happened in here?" She looked up, openmouthed and shamed. How much did they see?


	2. sleep

"What do you mean

"What do you mean?" Renesmee tried to look innocent.

"I just saw Jasper come from here, he looked really… not himself. I heard you calling after him" Relief. She let out the breath she'd been holding and shrugged.

"Oh. I'm not sure really… he was just sitting here writing and then jumped up and left. Did he say anything? I wonder if we should be worried…" Emmett shook his head.

"No. He didn't say anything at all, just walked right by me. Didn't even look up when I said something. I'm sure whatever it is he'll get over it."

"I hope so." She paused. "Emmett, why doesn't Jasper like me?" He laughed then and the easiness of his smile relaxed her immediately.

"Oh God, don't worry about that Nessie. He loves you! You know how he is… he likes to keep to himself sometimes. How could anyone hate you?" She smiled and he offered her his hand. "Come on, your mom's home." They made their way to the front of the house, her hand tucked under his arm. Renesmee smiled to herself and tried to be at ease, but her thoughts were only of him.

On the other side of the house Jasper was pacing. He couldn't slow down… everything was a blur. He came to an abrupt stop and sat on his bed. What just happened? What had he done? What was she thinking? So many questions… he put his head in his hands and tried to relax. Renesmee… what was she trying to do? His lips trembled. He could have killed her. A hundred different scenarios played in his mind… her lifeless body, Bella's face, the sound of his muscles ripping as Edward tore him apart. He grabbed the lamp from the bedside table and threw it at the wall. It exploded, glass and metal showering the room.

In the next moment he was standing at the mirror, staring at his reflection. He was mortified. His eyes… what was he going to do? They were bright red. Bella and Alice were home, he could hear them talking in the kitchen. Soon Alice would be walking through the bedroom door, her eyes widening as she took in his appearance, disbelief and sorrow pulsing into his body as she processed her emotions. No. He wouldn't let that happen. First he needed to shower and get the blood off of him, Alice would smell it immediately. He shut and locked the bathroom door just in time… he could hear the knob turning as she entered their bedroom.

"Jazz? What are you doing?" He cleared his throat and hoped his voice didn't fail him.

"Shower!" The knob turned.

"Why is the door locked?"

"Is it? I don't know…"

"Well hurry up, I want to show you what I got!" He tilted his head back and let the water run over his face. He still couldn't fully understand what had taken place. She had never behaved like that before. She had never even gone out of her way to speak to him before let alone…. He didn't know what to make of it; he couldn't wrap his mind around it. And the things she said… was she really the only one who didn't believe he would end up hurting her? Of course, they were all right to think he would.

He had attacked her mother once, years ago… on her birthday. It had caused Bella and everyone in his family so much pain. He'd tried to leave then but Alice had convinced him to stay with the Cullen's, his 'adopted family'. Four years ago almost the same scene had played out with Renesmee. They had just moved and were all in the kitchen discussing whether or not she should go to school. She didn't want to go and, forgetting her own strength, gripped a glass she was holding too tightly and broke it. It cut her finger and all hell broke loose. He had felt the thirst take over him once more. Emmett had grabbed her and taken her out of the room before anything could happen. That night Alice had actually congratulated him for not lunging at her. Can you imagine… someone thanking you for not murdering and then eating your brother's daughter?

It had taken all of his self control not to devour her today. How could she be so stupid? How could he let her? The emotions that were radiating from her body were alarming. Even more alarming was how eagerly he absorbed them and bounced them back to her. The atmosphere in that room was electric- a constant current of conflicting feelings flowing to and from his body to hers. Why would she be lusting for him? It was outrageous. He struck the thought from his mind before he could really question it. He scrubbed his body as hard as he could, eradicating the smell of her blood. When he was certain he'd gotten it all he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. The moment the water stopped the door knob was turning again.

"Jazzy? Open uuup, I've got something to show you…" Alice sang from the other side. He looked in the mirror at his still blazing red eyes. He took a deep breath. There was nothing else he could do. He opened the door and walked out, looking at his feet. He put on a pair of boxers and sat on the bed facing the window, avoiding Alice's stare. "You're not even looking." He laid back and closed his eyes.

"I don't feel well, Alice." She was immediately at his side.

"What do you mean? What's wrong?" He sighed and put his hand over his eyes.

"I'm not really sure. I just feel strange."

"Does it have anything to do with what happened in the study with Nessie?" His body stiffened.

"You uh, you know about that?"

"Well sure, Emmett told me you were practically running up here and wouldn't talk to him. Nessie said you randomly jumped up and left without so much as a word. Is anything that matter… anything you want to talk about?" He never lied to Alice. It sickened him that he was about to for the first time.

"No… no love, thanks. I think I may need to rest." He rolled over so he was on his stomach snaking his arm around her waist and pulling her against him as he buried his head in her neck. He was immersed in her scent, soft and sweet. She curled her fingers in his blonde hair and kissed the top of his head. This was his Alice.

What would he do without her? Where would he be now if she had never found him? He would never do anything to hurt her; he loved her more than anything or anyone on the planet. He was lying to her now out of fear of losing her. He would fall to pieces if she ever left him. The Cullen's, he had no real ties to. Yes, they were his adopted family and he loved them dearly, but he could leave if he had to. He'd always known this to be true. He had only joined their coven because Alice had wanted to so badly. He was perfectly contented to spend forever with each other, just the two of them.

He wasn't sure how she would react if she knew what really happened in the study earlier that day. Even if he could keep it hidden from her, what about Edward and his ability to read thoughts? He was sure he could keep his hidden around him; he always had, but Renesmee? Was she able to keep her deepest secrets buried deep enough that even her father with his probing mind would not find them? When he thought of his 'niece' his arm tightened around Alice and she sighed, running her hand along his back.

"Jasper?"

"Hmm?" She moved her body down so their foreheads were touching and placed her hand on the side of his face. He kept his eyes closed and rubbed his nose against hers. She giggled and pressed her lips against hers. God, he loved her. He could kiss her for hours upon hours and often did. His mouth curved up in a smile as she parted his lips with her tongue. This, _**she**_, was what he lived for… and always would.

Later that night, Alice went to hunt while Jasper stayed in bed 'resting'. She wasn't sure what was wrong with him. Why would he need to rest? He had always told her everything. For Alice, there was no mystery to Jasper Hale he was an open book to her. She was watching a deer when it hit her. A vision so strong she had to lean against a tree for support. It was Jasper. He was in a room she didn't recognize and he was on his knees in front of a woman. She was sitting on the edge of a bed in black lace lingerie, her head thrown back so she couldn't see her face. Her breasts were heaving up and down and though it was a vision Alice could see the blood pulsing in her veins. A human. Jasper's head was between her legs, his mouth attached to her inner thigh. She could see a trail of blood running down the woman's leg and to the floor staining the carpet bright ruby red. it started to fade, then came back into focus. The room was different this time. The woman was wearing red lace. Someone was changing their minds, details were changing. One detail however was the same… her husband's mouth was pressed against her thigh. He was drinking her blood. The woman was enjoying it.

"Mmm. Enough, Jasper. Come here." He licked the wound on her thigh then down her leg until she was clean. The woman giggled and sat upright as he leaned up towards her and kissed her so hard Alice could hear their teeth knocking together. He moved his mouth to her neck and she tilted her head to the side. Her hair fell away from her face as she scooted back on the bed and laid down, pulling Jasper with her. The vision ended.

Alice stood there for several moments, trying to understand what she just saw… her husband with another woman. But it wasn't just another woman. It was… she couldn't even bring herself to think it again. Once was enough. She stayed leaning against the tree until she heard branches snapping on the ground as someone approached. Once they were beside her she turned to face them.

"What do you think it means?" she sighed.

"Did you see the whole thing?" He nodded once.

"I have no idea, Edward. It's, well, it's impossible isn't it? I mean it's Nessie… and even if it wasn't he would never… " He looked into the forest, thinking.

"Don't tell anyone what you saw. We'll keep an eye on them both. I'm sure it's nothing."

"Perhaps it's just another one of her whims, and she just considering following through with it?" He pursed his lips.

"Perhaps. Even so, I doubt Jasper would ever allow that."

"I know. He won't get within five feet of her. He's almost scared of her, I'd even say."

"So… let's keep it between us for now. If you notice anything strange about her tell Jasper. I won't tell Bella unless I have to."

"Agreed." As they made their was deeper into the forest to look for more deer Alice silently cursed Renesmee, knowing Edward could hear everything she thought. The girl was over indulged, and a slave to her fantasies and whims. She expected to get whatever she wanted. 'Well,' Alice thought with a smirk, 'if she really thinks _that's _going to happen she's in for a rude awakening.' But what if the girl was crazy enough to try it? Her mother wasn't afraid of death when she was still a human and Edward a vampire… is this really so different. 'Jasper is _not_ Edward though' she thought. Then it occurred to Alice that if she did end up trying something with him he could hurt her. Not intentionally of course, but what if he pushed away to forcefully and she got hurt? Or, heaven forbid, if she did something really stupid and he ripped her throat out? Jasper was definitely not Edward. Jasper was much more dangerous. Maybe they should warn her. Maybe just tell her to forget it.

"No." she jumped when he spoke. 'But Edward what if-'

"No. it's better we keep this to ourselves for now. if you have another vision we'll act. But for now, who knows if it's even real? Nessie always gives you false visions her plans change so often." He was right. It was better not to say anything for now. Jasper was already feeling ill, why upset the whole house? Yes, she would wait for another vision. Hopefully, it would never come so she could forget this whole thing. She shivered despite herself. She had nothing to worry about, she was sure.


	3. things aren't so beautiful now

pEdward Cullen was not a man prone to non action. Though he leaned casually against the door frame his fingers twitched with impatience, anticipation, aggravation… he wanted to scream at her but instead he feigned calm and relaxed his posture as he watched his wife and daughter. They were having a conversation, though not with words. Renesmee had, since birth, the ability to communicate through touch. Over the years her mother, Bella, somehow developed this same talent though it only worked with Renesmee. They had attributed this to a kind of mother-daughter connection. Anything seemed possible where Bella and Renesmee were involved… they were an enigma. Edward had fallen in love with Bella over fifty years ago, when she was still a human. They had married and conceived their daughter before she had been 'changed' thus creating new and uncharted territory for the Cullen's, as well as any other vampire. They were a one of a kind pair, mother and daughter, unique and forging a new history together.

Renesmee was alive. She had 'talents' and a thirst for blood, yet was not vampire. Her heart beat steady and strong in her chest, her blood flowed true and thick through her veins. She did not age as she should in a natural world, having been at the peak of her adolescence for the last thirty six years. She had an unnatural beauty that set her apart from everyone else in the coven. Though they called themselves 'family' Renesmee, Edward, and Bella were the only ones actually blood related. Bella had been ready to die for her daughter to live, and nearly had. As he stood reflecting on these things Edward shuddered despite himself. Anger and disappointment clouded his vision. He had the ability to read thoughts. There was only one person in the world he'd met that could avoid his penetrating mind and that was his wife. Now there were two… he'd noticed it ten or so years ago. It was getting harder and harder to see into his daughter's thoughts, now it was nearly impossible. This also was attributed to the bond she shared with her mother.

He wasn't sure what to make of his beautiful daughter. She had a good soul, of that he was sure. How could she not? Bella was her mother, and she had the purest most loving heart he had ever known. Alice was right, she was over indulged… spoiled. He wanted so badly to look at her and see the little girl he fell in love with… the sweet little angel that had stolen all their hearts with one blink of her big brown eyes but that was not the girl who sat in front of him now. It had taken years to reconcile himself to that fact and he feared he was the only one who really believed it. Bella could see nothing but the love she held deep and close to her heart for her only daughter… the only child they would ever have. He wished he could have that resolve. Renesmee was not perfect though she so wished to appear so. She did things and acted in ways he could not overlook. She was a frivolous girl… a foolish girl. She took nothing seriously, least of all the lives of those around her. He kept waiting for her to grow up but after fifty two years he was losing hope.

He could not bring himself to feign surprise over Alice's vision. He wanted to feel rage, wanted to feel the familiar surge pr protectiveness but all he could feel was tired. He had told Alice before to stop watching for her. Renesmee was so whimsical and she had absolutely no impulse control. This made it difficult for Alice who was constantly seeing things that may or may not happen. It was unnecessarily stressful for her, and Edward was sorry for that. For all Renesmee's faults Alice, like the rest of them, could not help but love her. She still watched for her. This vision involving her husband had troubled her and for the first time he could see she was fighting within herself just like him. They were fighting to trust her, to see her as she was and not who she was becoming.

He glared at the back of her head. If Renesmee felt his stare, she did not show it. She had to know that Jasper would never let her get that close to him. First of all he was terrified of hurting her. Edward could hear him screaming at himself every time he caught her scent. There was no way he would put himself through that. There was no way he would risk hurting Alice that way. He stood in the doorway almost choking, wanting to scream at the silly, wayward girl in front of him. He wanted to tell her she was stupid for even thinking it, that HE would never let that happen. No, he decided, it was better to keep peace between him and his Bella. So he stood there silently cursing her as well as himself that he could not hear her thoughts, resigned to watching her very, very closely.

"Has anyone seen Jasper?" He raised an eyebrow as he turned to face Alice. He was so involved in his own thoughts he hadn't heard hers approaching.

"No, sorry. Have you tried the woods, maybe he's hunting?" Bella and Renesmee shook their heads.

"Hmm. Okay thanks." As she turned to leave she glanced at Edward. 'I don't know where he's gone off to.' He shrugged in reply. She tried to ignore the sinking feeling she felt as she made her way to the room they shared. Something wasn't right. She could feel it. She closed her eyes and tried to see him, but there was nothing. That could only mean there was no danger, right? Of course, she assured herself. If there was something wrong surely it would make itself known to her. This was not so unusual, him disappearing. He had always needed time to himself every once in a while. It was his nature. He wasn't used to this lifestyle… being a family, especially one like this. But why had he smashed the lamp? She sat at the window and gazed out at the stars as they twinkled and fluttered in the sky, concentrating, trying to see his future but seeing nothing. She turned her head and sniffed the air.

'Fucking wolves,' she thought to herself knowing Edward could hear her from downstairs. How was she ever going to see anything with those hideous creatures lurking around? They blocked everything and she needed her vision now more than ever.

"Hey, Bells, Nessie!" the voices floated up to her ears and she growled. Jacob Black had to go, but he couldn't be allowed to know why. He would not be as calm as Edward. He could not see reason as Edward could. He would go ballistic. There would be blood shed and none of it, she knew, would be Renesmee's.


	4. 30 minutes

It had been four days since she had seen him. It had been four days since she had been so impossibly close to him. She shivered. She couldn't stop thinking of him… even as she drug her nails down the back of her Jacob and purred his name, she was thinking of **him**.

She was remembering the way her blood looked as it spilled over his lips and dripped onto his shirt. Was this obsession? She sighed and glanced over at her father. Alice must have seen something; they had both been watching her. She had been staying close to Jacob, trying to block her aunt from intruding.

"I'm going for a walk." She was up and out the door before anyone could object. She needed air. She needed to think. Thank God Edward couldn't read her thoughts; she was having trouble controlling them. She walked aimlessly, wandering as she looked towards the sky.

She stopped suddenly and ducked behind an oak tree. She could hear someone coming and she could tell from the speed at which they were traveling that they were not human. Her eyes widened as the figure stopped a few yards away from where she was hidden. His head was tilted, he could smell her. With some effort he walked slowly along her line of vision until he was only a few feet away.

"Where have you been?" she stepped out from behind the bark but kept her distance as her eyes drank him in. His hair stuck out in all directions, branches and pieces of leaves caught in the tangled mess. His entire body was splattered with mud. Dirt was caked under his fingernails, smeared across his face. Their eyes met and she relaxed a little. His were a light shade of honey.

"Are you-"

"Stay away from me." He turned and began to walk away from her, towards the house.

"Wait!" She grabbed his arm. "I want to talk to you." He yanked himself free from her grip and turned on her, his eyes suddenly black as tar.

"Have you lost your fucking mind?! Do you have any idea how close we are to, to disaster?!"

"No one knows!"

"Are you insane? Alice knows everything I do."

"No! There's no way… Jacob's been camped out at the house, I made sure… there's no way she can see anything."

"What? You mean to purposefully deceive her? What about your father? You must stay away from me from now on. Are we clear?"

"I… I'm sorry for what happened Jasper, I really am but God, you can't tell me you didn't feel it! There's no one who can see us right now. You have to stay and talk to me."

"I don't **have** to do anything," he said as he leaned against a tree and eyed her warily. He knew he should walk away, but something deep inside him compelled him to stay. Maybe it was curiosity; maybe it was fear… either way he fought with it inside his mind as she took a step towards him.

"Where have you been?" She was standing next to him now.

"Hunting. I needed to clear my mind."

"Oh."

"Listen to me. I am terribly, terribly sorry for what happened, and I swear it will never happen again. We should forget it ever took place. It was a lapse in judgment. I was weak from waiting too long between meals. I won't make that mistake again, I can assure you."

She looked up into his eyes. How did she get so close so quickly? He could hear her heart beating, her blood rushing through her veins. He felt a rush of relief that he had just been hunting, drinking more than his fill.

She bit her bottom lip, a habit of hers he was noticing. He looked away from her face and let his eyes fall closed. Apprehension… confusion… he breathed in her emotions and let them wash over his awareness. She gently placed her hand on his arm and his eyes snapped open. Lust. Her pulse quickened.

"What if I don't see it that way?" She was whispering. He pursed his lips and sent her a wave of repulsion, of rage, of guilt… the appropriate things for her to be feeling. Her fingers tensed on his forearm but didn't let go.

"I'm not sure I follow."

"What if it wasn't a mistake?" He could feel her push back with surprising strength. Love, fear, lust, guilt, curiosity, thirst, lust… wave after wave of her feelings battled against his.

"It was."

"No."

"Yes." They stood staring at each other with matching intensity. Her other hand reached up and caressed his dirt streaked cheek. He bit his lip and choked back a moan. Lust, desire, lust, thirst, need… he tried to stop it but failed miserably. He knew he should move away but he couldn't bring his muscles to react. What was happening to him?


	5. cities of night

"No

**Authors Note:**

**Hi everyone… a little bit of sexy times in this chapter so be warned! thanks again for reading, I love your feedback so please review :) thanks!**

"No." Before she could process what she was doing her lips were crashing into his. Pleasure shot down her spine. He growled and ripped his mouth from hers.

"Yes." He turned to leave but she grabbed his wrist.

"Don't you dare walk away from me Jasper Whitlock. I need to know what this is. How can you not?" He hesitated then turned to face her.

"I know what this is. This is a **mistake**." He emphasized the last word, practically spitting it in her face. He tried to walk away again, and again she pulled him back.

"I know you feel it too, Jasper. I can feel it coming off of you as strongly as I'm feeling it myself. You think I don't realize how dangerous this is? I do. I know there's a lot at stake here but I need to see…" She took a step toward him.

"You have no idea what's at stake here. This is an adventure for you, but this is my_**life**_ and if you think I would ever betray MY WIFE…" he yanked his arm away from her and took several steps backwards. "Well, then you're a bigger fool than I'd imagined." Without so much as a glance back at her he was off running towards the house. He was too fast for her; she knew she would never catch him so she stayed there in the forest by herself. She was more confused than ever.

Of course he would never betray Alice. She shook her head, trying to clear the jumbled thoughts inside. She needed to start making sense. What was she trying to do here? What was she trying to win? She couldn't find any reason to continue with this ridiculous plight of getting Jasper to notice her, and yet she couldn't bring herself to stop.

She was causing him pain. She didn't have to guess, she could feel it. She was embarrassed that he could feel her emotions… the ones she would rather keep secret. Being near him like that, it was so different from Jacob, or any other human boy she had toyed with. It was intimidating. She felt, for the first time ever, that she had no control over herself… over what she was feeling. She could hide nothing from him.

Her soul was bared before him and he had scoffed and turned away. He was not hers. She knew this, and yet she could not stop yearning. How odd. Out of nowhere came these feelings, nearly unbearable, and now that she felt them she could not stop them from coming. She turned and made her way back to the house, purposefully at a pace slower than she would usually keep. She knew she needed to stop this madness. She had no idea how.

She knew Jacob would be waiting in her bedroom for her… this made her move even slower. She was mentally exhausted. She didn't have the strength for his unyielding energy. She was passing _**his**_room and stopped at the doorway. She could hear their voices. Were they arguing? She knew she should keep walking but her feet were glued to the floor.

"How could you just disappear knowing I can't see with these dogs hanging around?"

"I apologize." He sighed. She could picture him standing there covered in dirt, dragging his hand through his muddy hair. His voice sounded tired, almost sad. "I'm sorry, Alice, I really am. I just needed a moment."

"What is going on with you Jazzy, you've been acting so strangely. I'm just worried."

"You have nothing to be concerned about, love." Alice sighed as he buried his face in her neck dropping little kisses along her shoulder.

"Jasper, my God, you need a shower." She giggled and yelped when he scooped her up.

"I think you're right," he smirked as he carried her toward the bathroom. Alice was starting the water so she didn't notice him stop and grip the corner of the sink. They came quickly and then disappeared… anger, jealousy, guilt… where was it coming from? He heard a door slam down the hall. Renesmee. She'd resorted to lurking outside his bedroom door? He shuddered.

"Jazz? Baby… what are you doing?" He looked at his beautiful wife... his match. There was no question… he was meant to be right here, with her, for eternity. He shed the rest of his clothes and stepped into the shower with her, the water and her love raining down on him, and he tried to envelope her in the security she so yearned for.

Although his arms were wrapped around his lovely Alice, his sweet and gentle Alice… his thoughts were on another. He tried to stop but it was futile. He loosened the grip on his self control and his eyes almost rolled back into his head. He could see her wide brown eyes looking up into his, her mouth curved and waiting for his, her heart beating wildly in her chest… pumping blood through her fragile veins.

Alice gasped at the sudden surge of emotion that ran through her body. Her back arched up and she pulled his head down to hers, their lips colliding and then moving in perfect sync, like they were made to kiss each other. His hand was on her butt, pushing her against his throbbing member. She bit down on his lip unintentionally as another wave of frantic desire hit her. It felt unfathomably good, better than she could remember it ever feeling before now. What was different? It didn't matter; she couldn't think straight, she knew she'd never find an answer.

"Please…" he whispered against her lips. "please, please, please…" she tangled her hand in his wet blonde hair pulling him impossibly close, their entire bodies pressed together, cool marble skin against cool marble. Her free hand dug her fingernails into his shoulder as he pushed himself inside her without warning.

She gasped and opened her eyes to look at him. Their eyes met for the briefest moment, and she could have sworn he was looking right through her. Another pulse of his emotion ripped through her tiny body. If he wasn't holding her up she would have collapsed. She could hear herself moaning; only it didn't sound like her. The noises she made were wild, animalistic… not at all the soft loving murmurs she was used to.

"Jasper…" she half moaned half yelled. He didn't seem to hear her. He plowed into her, over and over again… not at all gentle, not at all loving. This was a kind of lovemaking they had never shared. His mouth was next to her ear. He was pleading, almost begging.

"Please, please, please…" She wasn't used to this. She didn't want this.

"Jasper. Jasper, what is this?" He didn't hear… if he didn't he didn't respond. She let her head fall back and arched her back as another wave hit her. He was holding it back, she could tell. What she kept feeling were momentary slips if his control. Was he always hiding this?

She actually screamed this time… another slip; it was not at all what she expected. His emotions were frenzied, panicked… she felt his pleasure, his lust, then she felt rage, disgust, loathing? Why would he feel these things? She couldn't process it, there was so much going on… she tried but couldn't bring herself to form a cohesive thought.

He growled as he came, pushing himself deep inside her. It was not sweet. It was not loving. She shivered as he pulled out but didn't bring his head up to look at her or kiss her eyelids like he usually did. She stood there with him, waiting for him to tell her how he loved her, how he lived for her. He didn't move.

"Jasper?" her voice seemed to bring him back to life. He inhaled deeply and took a step back, into the stream of water still falling from the shower head. She could not feel anything from him; he was back in control of himself.

"What was that, Jasper?" he looked down at his feet, his hair falling over his face.

"I… I don't know." Her legs were shaking but she forced them to move. She climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her, then went to the bedroom without another word. She left him there to his thoughts. She knew it was what he wanted.

When she was gone he collapsed against the wall and slid down so he was sitting with the water beating over his shoulders. His head was in his hands. What the fuck was he doing? What was happening to him? Inside he was screaming. He could feel Alice's shock, her fear, her worry… he couldn't stand being the one to hurt her. A half hour went by and he shut off the water before cautiously making his way to the bedroom. Alice was sitting cross legged on their bed, a fashion magazine open in front of her. She looked up when he entered the room and smiled almost shyly at him.

"Hi." He dressed and sat down next to her.

"Hi." He kissed her nose and then pressed his forehead to hers. They stayed like that for a while, seeking comfort in each other's proximity. She was the one to finally pull away when the sun was peeking over the horizon.

"I think I'm going to the mall in a bit." A quick peck on the lips and she was gone, picking out clothes from the closet. He could see he was forgiven and left her there, making his way to the study. He selected a book and had just pulled back the cover when the doorknob turned and a pair of brown eyes peered over at him from the doorway. Inside, he was screaming again.

She took a deep breath and entered the room, her eyes on his the entire time. She sat next to him on the sofa and shifted her body so she was facing him. She parted her lips, about to speak, but never had a chance to form the words. His lips were suddenly on hers, and before her heart could beat twice as fast he was pushing her onto her back.

Then she blinked and he was gone. He had flung himself across the room. She sat up but didn't stand, not trusting her legs to hold her. His teeth were bared and she could see the venom dripping from them. He was growling, low and deep in his chest, as his black eyes bore into hers. He was going to pounce, she realized as she took in his crouched stance.

"Jasper. Stop. Stop this, right now." Before she could draw another breath she was on her back again. He was on top of her, his hand gripping her chin forcing her head to the side and exposing her neck. Terror. He chuckled into her hair then pressed his lips to her earlobe. She could feel his tongue flick against her soft skin between his words.

"Yes. This is what you wanted, is it not? Now you've got me right where you want me. Am I right? I'm giving in. Are you satisfied now, little one?" She couldn't help herself… she was. He could feel it too, she knew. This gave him pause. He pressed his lips to her throat and she actually sighed. Her fingers were in his hair and she was turning her head on her own, giving him better access. He yanked her chin back over and his lips were on hers once more. It was a hungry, greedy kiss as they both gave into what they had been denying themselves. She ground her hips into his and their tongues met between their parted lips. Her breath came in ragged gasps, his not at all.

No. This was wrong. He once more tore himself from her embrace. She let out a strangled cry and reached out to stop him, but she was nowhere near fast enough. He was out the door, through the house, then outside and across the lawn in mere seconds. She watched him streak towards the forest before collapsing back onto the sofa, a wide smile spreading across her flushed face.

There was no way he could deny it now. He felt it… and though he was trying his hardest to disguise it, bury it, and ignore it, it was there.

And he wanted it just as badly as she did.


	6. 1000 oceans

"We need to talk

"We need to talk." Jasper didn't look over. He continued to stare aimlessly out the car window at the scenery as it flew by. It had been four days since he'd attacked Renesmee in the study. He hadn't so much as looked at her since then. The moment she entered a room, he left. He would feel either Edward's or Alice's eyes on his back as he walked through the door. Of course they knew something was off. He was shocked they hadn't used their abilities to 'see' or 'hear' it. Alice decided she wanted to take a drive. He could only assume it was to get away from the house… away from Jacob the werewolf so she could use her visions to glimpse at his future. As she pulled off the road and killed the engine he realized he was right.

"Oh? What about?" Alice sighed and looked troubled. He sent a wave of calm over her body. She shivered and smiled a little sadly at him.

"It's Renesmee. I… well, I saw something Jasper. I saw the two of you." He still wouldn't look at her.

"I saw the two of you together?" She said it as though she were asking a question.

"Nothing bad, I hope." She put her head on the steering wheel.

"You were drinking her blood Jasper."

"W-what do you mean?" He could see her shake her head out of the corner of his eye.

"I saw it earlier this week. You were drinking her blood. I've been trying to watch for you but it's been increasingly difficult with that dog hanging around every single day. I mean, doesn't he have his own house? Why don't they hang out there? It's ridiculous…"

"Alice. You're rambling."

"Oh, right… sorry. Anyway, I couldn't see any more. But now we're here, away from the house, and I see the same thing. I don't understand it, there's no way it would really ever happen…not the way I'm seeing it. You would kill her if you ever drank from her, if it ever got that far."

"Do I kill her? In your vision, I mean…" She was looking at him now.

"No. No, you don't kill her. You…" She didn't finish, not that she had to… he could imagine what she saw. He put his face in his hands. When he spoke his voice was muffled.

"What should I do?" She reached over and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"I'm not sure. I'm so confused. Jasper… what is going on? Look at me" He didn't move. "Jasper, please…" He dropped his hands onto his lap and looked over at her, not meeting her eyes. "I can't figure it out. Why would you not kill her?"

"What do you mean?" She looked like she was really thinking about what to say.

"I mean… what I saw… why would you not drain her? Why would you be _**kissing**_ her? Jasper, look at me." Slowly his gaze met hers.

"I…" He opened and closed his mouth. "I don't know what I should say." She went to touch his cheek and he flinched. He shuddered as her reaction washed over him… pain, disbelief, betrayal…it made him want to cry out. He looked down at his hands. He was ashamed but he kept his feelings in check, not wanting her to feel them.

"Are you going to fuck her?"

"You tell me." She smacked him across the face.

"I'll assume that means I am? Alice, help me. Please, tell me what to do. I can't stand hurting you… you have to know that" Her eyes were wide as she shook her head.

"Edward is going to kill you. Jacob is going to kill you."

"No. Nothing is going to happen. I won't let it get that far." She seemed to be staring at something far away as her eyes glazed over.

"You're going to leave, Jasper." He nodded.

"Where am I going?" She looked worried.

"The airport." He waited for her to continue. When she didn't speak he looked up.

"And then?"

"I don't know. I can't see yet." She started the car. "We'll go now, before anyone knows. If we go back to the house and Edward's there he'll know." He nodded, but said nothing. They were silent the rest of the ride… only when they had parked and were standing at the rear of the car did she speak.

"I love you more than anything in this existence. You know that, don't you?" he nodded and she pressed against him, inhaling his scent.

"Everything will work out Jasper. I know it will. I will call you when I see what's going to happen."

"You're not coming with me?" She stood on her tip toes and pressed her lips to his.

"No. I'm sorry Jasper. I don't know why yet, but you seem to have to do this alone."

"I love you." It was barely a whisper when he said it but he knew she could hear, and he knew she would feel that he meant it. They kissed once more before he turned and made his way inside, away from his love, away from his life. He knew this was the only way to keep from hurting Alice more than he already had. Maybe he would stay away for a bit and Renesmee would grow bored with her little fantasy. He would come home and everything would be back the way it should be.

He didn't want to be without Alice. The thought of being very far from her actually scared him. She was the only thing that kept him safe… the one thing that kept him sane. He didn't know where to go. He hated the thought of being more than a few miles away from her. What if she needed him? No, he would stay nearby… close enough that he could reach her should anything happen. She would know where to find him when she 'saw' him checking in. He made up his mind. He would stay at the hotel next to the airport for the next few weeks and let things blow over… then he would go home to his wife.

He slid his key into room 203 and entered his makeshift sanctuary then sat on the edge of the bed and switched on the television. He sat there for hours staring, unblinking, into the glowing screen so naively assuming things would work out, that things would be 'okay'. How could he know that at that very moment events were falling into place that would change everything? He couldn't and he didn't. There was a knock at the door. He stood and as he made his way over something tugged at the corner of his subconscious, but he ignored it.

He opened the door and froze. A pair of sin red eyes stared back at him.

"Hello, darling. Have you missed me terribly?"


	7. secret

Authors Note:

**Authors Note:**

**Hey everyone... thanks to all who reviewed I really appreciate it! Sorry it's taking a bit longer between updates, superrrrrr busy lately! To answer a question I got, yes the titles are songs… I'll list them at the end of this chapter, and from now on I'll put the title and artist somewhere in each chapter in case you wanna keep track! :) thanks, please review!! Kbye!**

Alice sat in her car parked in the garage of her home. Her head was resting on the steering wheel, she was inconsolable. She knew she should be crying and she wished she could… she couldn't bring her body to produce the tears she so yearned to taste. Instead she was forced to keep her anguish inside. It was tearing through her dead heart, bursting at the seams of her cold skin. She tasted the air with her vampire senses and gritted her teeth. Werewolves. She needed to get rid of him. She needed to think up a way to get Jacob to leave without telling him why. As she pondered this she could feel Edward in her head.

'You see then how I need him gone. I must be able to see now more than ever.' Though she hadn't spoken a word out loud she knew he heard her. She trembled a little despite herself. This meant he now knew all about the visions of Jasper and Renesmee. She closed her eyes and tried to feel him inside the house, but it was no use. She hoped he was not enraged to the point of non reason. She sighed and exited the car, forcing her legs with some effort to carry her towards the house. As she entered she could feel the strength of her gift returning little by little. She made her way to the kitchen. Edward was waiting for her.

"They've gone hunting. Nessie and Jacob." She nodded once.

"Thank you." She chanced a quick glance up at his face. His eyes were black, clouded with anger but his stance was not threatening. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Where is Bella?"

"Out with Rose and Emmett."

"Oh."

"So he's decided then? He's to drink from her?" She sat, almost collapsed, at the kitchen table. Edward joined her and leveled his gaze on her face, waiting as patiently as he was capable of doing.

"It would seem so." He stopped himself from growling.

"Where is he then?"

"Edward, you know it's not him. You know he would never do this. It's hurting him more than any of us. He's gone away for a while. He doesn't want it to come to that."

"Yes, but where is he?" She let her mind reach and branch out, swirling and curling and grasping for something concrete.

"He's nearby. He's at the airport… at a hotel."

"Is he leaving?" She looked confused.

"No… he's staying there." Edward nodded. He needed to find a way to stop this from happening preferably without Bella ever finding out.

"Why aren't you with him?"

"I… I don't know. My vision… it was just him so I came back." Her eyes met his with a tortured expression. He felt the needed to reassure her, though he wasn't even convincing enough for his own piece of mind.

"Everything will be okay, Alice. He can stay away for a few weeks and then maybe everything will have blown over."

"What do you plan on doing?" He leaned back in his seat and thought about it. One thing he was very unwilling to do was tell Bella. He would hate for her to find out, hate for her to worry, and most of all he would hate for her eyes to look at Renesmee with anything but unquestioning love. He had always protected his Bella from any and all negative forces in her life. All but one, he thought as guilt seeped through his righteousness and stung his conscious with surprising accuracy.

He could go have a talk with Jasper, but he knew that could only have so many outcomes. Jasper was not one to bend to another's will. He was not one to be intimidated either. He was an experienced fighter, though not prone to violence, and when he made up his mind it was almost impossible to dissuade him. The only thing on this planet that could move him was Alice. He glanced over at her. Curious, wasn't it… her seeming lack of concern? Her thoughts were a jumbled mess he could hardly make any sense out of them. It was giving him a headache to try.

"For now, waiting would be best I think… unless, of course, you have some other course of action in mind?" She shook her head.

"I don't know what to do… why is this happening? I don't understand, Edward, I don't know how I'm supposed to handle this…" she pushed her chair back and fled from the room… fled from Edward. How could they fix this? She tested his future again. It was still there, clear as day. She was wearing dark blue. She was whispering his name like a prayer. It wasn't right! Jasper was her prayer! She wanted to scream but forced it back down her throat. She would not allow herself the luxury of losing control… not now, not while Jasper needed her. She refused to believe he had any part in it. She needed to put all the blame on Renesmee, for her own piece of mind.

She was trying to make sense of it all when her body went rigid. A flash of something forced its way into her mind… then a flash of something else. Her hands formed tiny white fists. Jasper… blood, there was so much blood, it was everywhere! His eyes were bright red… suddenly everything was dark.

She blinked her eyes and slowly her vision came back. She was standing in a forest, not the one behind the Cullen house, this one was new and unfamiliar. The air was hot and sticky even for a vampire. She could hear crickets in every direction, lightning bugs flashed yellow all around her. She took a few steps forward then froze.

She could see movement in the distance. It was then that she caught a scent… _**his**_ scent… and she was off running. She came to the edge of the forest and ducked behind a tree. There must have been fifty vampires gathered in the clearing. The air was thick with tension. Her eyes scanned the crowd for Jasper until she finally picked out his tall blonde head. He was standing with a much shorter female vampire. They were engaged in conversation… she couldn't make out what they were saying but she could tell they were arguing. She started to feel light headed. '_No!_' She tried to hold on… to delay the inevitable. '_No,_' she thought, '_Just a moment longer_…' it was no use though, she was being pulled back to the present.

When she opened her eyes she was on the floor panting, staring wide eyed at a pair of beat up sneakers. The sneakers were attached to a pair of legs, which were attached to the rest of his body… her eyes trailed up to his face and to a pair of amused brown eyes.

"What are you doing down there?" She growled and jumped up to her feet in less than a heartbeat.

"You stupid fucking dog, I'm going to kill you!" She didn't hear everyone screaming for her to stop. She didn't feel their arms trying to pry her from his bleeding and broken body. She hadn't even given him a chance to phase.

She was desperate. The only thing she was aware of was the need to have him gone so she could see her Jasper. His name was the only thought that echoed in her mind as her jaw snapped closed around Jacob's neck.

Jasper…

Chapter/play list

The taste of ink-the used

Sleep-meiko

Things aren't so beautiful now-a thorn for every heart

30 minutes-tatu

cities of night-blaqk audio

1000 oceans-tori amos

**secret-the pierces**


	8. teardrop

He had been sitting there for what seemed like an eternity staring into her eyes

He had been sitting there for what seemed like an eternity staring into her eyes. His mind was playing a tug of war with his daydreams… he wanted to drift away to something better; he _needed_ to stay and concentrate. He tested the air around her. She seemed calm, almost indifferent. He still couldn't believe she was actually sitting in front of him. Had Alice seen this? Why hadn't she told him? The woman seated across from him chuckled, breaking him free of his reverie.

"My dear, surely you are curious as to why I have come here tonight?" He raised an eyebrow. "And yet you are so quiet…" He swallowed before uttering a name he had all but stricken from his memory.

"Maria…" It was like acid on his tongue. He could feel his throat close around it; he was almost choking on it.

He hadn't seen her in almost seventy years. She was his creator. She had turned him for his military expertise and he had joined her crusade as a newborn vampire, eager for the blood and glory. She had made him a monster; she had forced him to become something almost unrecognizable. He had finally escaped from her maniacal control after a century of war and what he now recognized as murder. They had seen each other twice since then. '_What is she doing here now?_'

"Your eyes… why, you look absolutely _starved_ my darling." The words rolled off her tongue.

"What do you want?" She twirled a lock of shining black hair in her fingers and fixed her full red lips in a slight pout.

"I am sorry you do not wish to catch up… I suppose we did not leave things very friendly between us the last time we spoke." The left corner of her mouth curved up into a smirk. He just frowned and waiting for her to get to the point.

"Jasper, as I am sure you know, times are changing… things are not as they once were. It is as the Volturi said it would be… the humans know too much. Granted, most of what they know is simply myth but more and more often we hear of our comrades falling into their hands. We know this to be true. Every day that passes they learn more, and so it means for us a greater danger that we cannot afford to…"

"What does any of this have to do with me?" Her smirk widened to a full grin.

"Your dear friend Peter, you remember him, no?" He nodded once in reply.

"They have him now," she all but purred.

"What do you mean?"

"He is lost to us now. The humans… they have captured him, they keep him prisoner." He was alert now, his interest piqued.

"What do they want with him? How did they even manage to-"

"They come in groups. They wait and watch for their perfect moment… when of us is alone. Then they attack. At first, they were easily defeated but they grew stronger and their weapons grew more and more advanced. They have some kind of tranquilizer. We do not know what it is, exactly." She laughed cold and harsh, it made him shiver. "They fancy themselves vampire hunters." She stood and began to pace back and forth.

"It is becoming more and more dangerous for a vampire, Jasper. You would do well to absorb what I am saying to you now." She shot him a look. "We captured one of them last month. We were able to extract some information before we… _expelled_ him." He winced as he pictured Maria's fanatical eyes shining red with glee as she tortured the weak and helpless human. "Not without reason, Jasper! What makes you think they are not doing the same to Peter?" He shrugged and lowered his gaze. She continued…

"If what the human said is to be believed, and I'm convinced it is… they have what they are calling a cure. It is some kind of serum… something they have been developing for years, apparently." She paused for what seemed like a dramatic effect. "It is said to bring the dead back to life, Jasper. They have been able to reanimate corpses… to fill once empty lungs with fresh new air, to set a still heart beating again, Jasper, do you know what this means?"

"I don't see how that's possible." Still, he shuddered at the thought.

"How is it possible for you or I to exist with our heart not beating, our blood still unmoving in our veins?!"

"What does it mean then?"

"War, Jasper, it means war." He damn near laughed out loud. She saw his incredulous look and advanced on him, so when she spoke he could feel the cold air from her lungs on his face.

"For centuries humans have had nothing but folklore to protect themselves from us, nothing but stupid stories and false hopes. Now they have **this **and you are a God damned fool if you do not think they will use this to their advantage. Why do you think they are capturing us? To test their new weapon! And when they are sure it works, what then? Do we sit like fucking sitting ducks and wait for our extinction?" She turned and grabbed her coat from the bed and slung it over her shoulder. She paused before opening the door and turned back to him.

"Think of all I have said here tonight Jasper. There is not much time to waste. Think of your human loving family. What will become of them if they are found out? Will you sit idly by and let them come under attack, from _humans_ no less? They seem convinced their roles as meager scientists are equal to that of God! Ha! We are gathering our strength and biding our time until they make their next move." She paused and pursed her lips.

"You know where to find me. Think about it, please." Then she was gone.

He stayed in the uncomfortable hotel chair for hours. He couldn't organize his thoughts, they were everywhere at once. Could it be true? Could there be a 'cure' for death? It seemed he was a prisoner of what he did not know. For instance, he did not know what had taken place at the Cullen house a few short hours ago. He did not know that as he sat alone in a dark hotel room his wife sat in a corner of their bedroom, imaginary tears pooling in her crimson eyes. He did not know that that the root of his current distress was walking through the lobby of the hotel at that very moment, each step bringing her closer to him.

It had started to rain. He finally got up to pull the curtains aside and gaze listlessly out the window. He very much liked the rain. He stood leaning against the side of the pane, his hands in his pockets for almost ten minutes before she raised her fist and knocked four times. He growled and strode to the door, yanking it open.

"I think that's enough for one…" He trailed off as her scent hit him like a wrecking ball. He gripped the door frame, afraid his knees would give out. He couldn't process a single thought except what her aura bled into his, anguish, hurt, terror, hurt, then hope, then hurt, it hurts, it hurts, **it hurts**…

"Jasper…" Tears were streaming down her pale face. Lightning struck and illuminated the inside of the room for a few seconds. She fell into him, slamming her head into his chest. His arms wrapped around her before he could stop himself, pulling her in and shutting the door. He led them to the bed and sat down. She crumbled in his arms. Her scent was unbearable and he stopped himself from breathing it in. They sat like for a small eternity, her head was buried in the crook of his neck; his hand was resting on her back while his thumb rubbed tiny circles across her spine. Her emotions took over him completely and he tried to sooth the both of them.

"Shh… Renesmee. Shh, it's okay, it's alright." He let her aroma assault his senses. After a while she stopped crying and slowed her breathing to a normal pace. She looked up into his eyes and almost crumbled to pieces all over again.

"Jasper, nothing is okay. Something terrible has happened."

"Well, what is it? What's happened?" They were whispering, though neither realized it.

"It's Jacob. He's… oh God, I think he might be dead."

"What?! Where's Alice?" her body stiffened.

"She's at home. She's alright." Her tear filled eyes stared defiantly back at his. She knew he could feel the rage radiating off her body. He cocked his head to the side in a silent question.

"Am I a terrible person, Jasper?"

"I don't think you are, Renesmee." She shivered when he whispered her name.

"I think I may be. This terrible thing happened today… Jacob is, he's **dead** and I mean of course I feel like I'm being ripped in two but somehow… even now I…" her voice trailed off as her eyes darted from his to his lips and back up again. He closed his eyes and let the desire ripple across his skin. He wanted to think of Alice but his brain seemed to be blocking her out. He could barely remember her name. This was wrong. He knew it. He tried to fight it but for some reason he felt so weak.

"You're not a terrible person. No more than I am." She smiled a little and sniffled. '_Such a human thing to do_,' he thought. '_How oddly endearing._'

"Jasper, tell me a secret." He blinked and said the first terrible thing that sprung to his tongue.

"I feel no sadness over the death of Jacob Black. I am really quite indifferent." His hand was on the side of her neck, his thumb stroked her cheek. The corner of his mouth turned up and he offered her a sad little half smile. Her breath feathered across his face and neck, warming him. Another lightning strike brightened the room for a moment, illuminating the trails her tears left on her face. "You tell me a secret."

"It's really bad." She inched her body closed to his and moved so her forehead was resting on his shoulder. He placed his hand on the back of her neck and buried his face in her hair, gulping down the scent.

"Mmph. Tell." She raised her head to look in his eyes.

"I'm indifferent too." He chuckled and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

"Silly Nessie, then why are you crying?"

"Because I'm terrible! I'm a horrible person. I wish I could feel real pain for him, but I can't." He pressed his forehead against hers. It was as if he had no control over himself.

"But you are feeling pain. It hurts so badly," he breathed.

"No… no, not pain for Jacob, pain because I cannot feel for him. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I only feel for one person lately, someone I know I can never have. But still I think of him constantly." Her heartbeat quickened. He understood. His mind finally cleared and was screaming at him to push her away, to make her leave. Instead he pressed his lips to her temple, then the middle of her forehead, then the tip of her nose. Their lips were just barely touching.

"Renesmee…" she put her hands on either side of his neck. She was ready for this. She needed this.

"Shh, Jasper just… please…" He let his lips close around hers so softly she wasn't entirely sure it was really happening. His tongue traced her upper lip and she shivered. It was cold, colder than a tongue should be… it was strangely erotic. He placed a hand on her lower back and pulled her onto his lap so she was straddling him. His teeth tugged gently on her bottom lip and she let him pull her into himself, she could feel their emotions intertwine. It felt so right.

She knew she was exactly where she was supposed to be as her hand moved to the back of his head and her fingers tangled themselves in his hair, mussing the once neatly styled blonde locks. He sighed into her mouth and almost whimpered. She pulled back, ending the kiss and looked into his eyes.

"Jasper." She traces his bottom lip with her index finger. "Maybe this is-"

"You were right." She was glad his arms were around her, locking her into place as his shame washed over her. She could feel him all around her, of course his shame, his sorrow, his affection for her, his want, his need, his thirst. She pulled him as close as possible. His hands were shaking. His voice was just barely audible. "I think I just need to see…' That was all she needed to hear. She yanked his head down to hers and their lips collided.

In that moment, they didn't care about the consequences. Neither of them cared who they were hurting. Neither of them was themselves. Together they formed an entirely new entity. They had just been delaying the inevitable. Renesmee briefly wondered if it was fate that brought them together. She decided it didn't matter either way. His lips smiled against her throat when she let her head fall back exposing her pale white skin for him to taste. He was beyond saving now. He couldn't ignore it any longer. Though he wished with all of his being to go back in time before that day in the study, he knew it was too late for him now.

He finally admitted to himself what she seemed to already know. Somehow, he was hers. She stood and pulled her sundress over her head, letting it fall to the floor. All other thoughts left his head as his eyes swept over her body. She was wearing white lace. It almost glowed in the thick dark night that surrounded them. She hooked her finger and motioned for him to join her and when he did he felt no remorse.

He knew this would destroy everything he loved. He just didn't give a fuck just then.

**teardrop-massive attack**


	9. red sam

She couldn't seem to catch her breath

**Author's Note:**

**Sexy times ahead! Be warned! Thanks and PLEASE review!! **

She couldn't seem to catch her breath. She exhaled furiously and inhaled as deeply as she could… still she could not fill her chest with enough air to keep from feeling slightly strangled. Heat spilled out of her chest and blanketed her body, making her sweat. Her skin burned his fingertips as he trailed them across her body but he didn't pull away from her… he welcomed the stinging pain, the thrill of being so close to her. Their lips moved in a frantic unison. He growled when she bit down on his lip as hard as she could. She smirked and grabbed the bottom of his sweater, yanking it up and over his head. It left his hair sticking out in all directions and she genuinely smiled. Catching her amusement the corners of his mouth turned up into a smile of his own. It was strange seeing him like this. Jasper was very 'put together', usually in a sweater and button down shirt with designer slacks… not a hair out of place. She giggled.

"You're a hot mess right now." She ran her fingers through his soft hair and tilted her smiling face up to his.

"I suppose I am…" His voice trailed off as their lips met once more, this time softer, more playful. She moved her hands to the buttons of his wrinkled shirt and starting at the top, undid them one by one. The anticipation was killing him. He wanted to feel her ridiculously hot hands on his cool skin. He was almost trembling, fighting off the urge to hurt her. The monster in him wanted more than what she could give him alive. He thought of what a beautiful corpse she would be, like a painting, her blood splattered over the white sheets… dripping down the peach colored walls. He forced the image out of his head. Looking into her trusting, lustful eyes he knew then that he could never be the one to hurt her. His shirt was open and ran her fingernails across his skin. She pressed her lips against one of the many scars that decorated his body, making her the third to ever do so since he became a vampire a hundred and ninety-five years ago.

She pulled away from him and grabbed something from inside her purse, which she had dropped onto the floor earlier. She was back before he could say anything, pressing her lips eagerly to his and pulling him to the bed with her. Without breaking this kiss, she sat on the edge of the bed. He felt her smile against his lips and opened his eyes a little as new emotions swirled around them, curiosity and recklessness… she sighed. Venom flooded his mouth before he was aware anything was happening, she could feel it against her lips, stinging like hot sauce. He yanked his mouth away from hers, falling to the floor between her legs. He looked up at her, confused. He saw it then, before his senses allowed him to identify the smell… a thin red line on her right thigh, a cut. She was bleeding.

His eyes rolled back and he covered his nose and mouth with his hand. He crawled backward away from her and sat there for a few moments, trying to ignore what every cell in his dead body was calling for him to do.

"Jasper, it's ok. Come back." He shook his head, his hand still covering the bottom half of his face. His chest was heaving, he was almost choking. "Jasper! You can do this, remember?" Of course he remembered. "Come back… please…" He let his hand fall to his lap, taking a shaky tentative breath… testing himself. He hadn't leapt for her throat, which was good. He shifted and crawled toward her like a baby. When he reached the bed he was kneeling in front of her. She cradled his face in her hands and pressed her red swollen lips to his gently and lovingly. He whimpered as the tips of their tongues met, swirling around each other's. "It's okay, Jasper. It's alright."

She leaned back and he dropped his head to her leg. He breathed the scent of her blood, testing himself, hurting himself, pushing himself to the limits of his restraint. He kissed the skin around her wound gently, almost reverently. He looked up at her and she nodded, a peaceful look was on her face. He smiled at that… she had to be out of her mind. Then slowly, deliberately he ran his tongue along the cut she made. She moaned and let her head fall back. He kissed the trail of blood, smudging it, before attaching his mouth to her thigh. She curled his hair around her fingers and sighed his name. He was growling despite himself as her blood rushed into his mouth, he was trying very hard not to bite down and let it overflow. His eyes were closed… this was euphoria. Everything else just faded away.

"Mmm. Enough, Jasper. Come here." He licked the wound on her thigh then down her leg until she was clean. Her blood warmed him on the inside. She giggled and he looked up at her, leaning his head against her knee. She pushed his hair back from his face and they sat like that for a few minutes just looking at each other. His eyes were red but she was not afraid, her features were relaxed… she was _happy_.

Her blood was smeared across his face and somehow to her it was cute… like a little boy who'd just devoured some chocolates. Only it wasn't chocolate and he was not a boy, he was a vampire. Her affection for him swallowed them both whole. She giggled at how absurd it all was. The corners of his mouth twitched as he tried to stop himself from smiling. This was serious, it was dangerous… he knew he should stop it before it went any further, but he couldn't stop. His tiny smile turned into a wide grin and he put his hand over his mouth to hide it. She was laughing now and despite himself he was too. Their laughter began to die away and he moved faster than her eyes could follow him.

His lips crashed into hers, shocking her back to the moment. She eagerly returned the kiss sighing into his now warm mouth, pulling him up onto the bed with her. His lips trailed along her jaw and she tilted her head to the side allowing him access to her smooth white neck. Her heart skipped a beat when he sucked the tender flesh into his mouth and she felt his smile as the mood changed around them. Playfulness. He dropped tiny kisses down along her collar bone before she pulled his face back up to hers. She couldn't stop kissing him. She scooted back on the bed, pulling him with her. Her hands moved to his pants and soon they joined the rest of their clothes on the floor. Her heart was pounding against his chest as he pressed his body to hers. He growled into her neck as she wrapped her hand around his thickness and began to move slowly up and down. He ripped off her lace thong and tossed into the dark room, not caring where it landed. She needed to feel him inside her.

She shifted and he lifted his head and brought his lips to hers. Without warning she pushed him inside her… he gasped and froze. Her mind was frenzied, she was wondering if she'd done something wrong.

"Renesmee, calm down." His voice startled her.

"Jasper…" He ran his nose along the side of hers.

"Shh…" He silenced her with his mouth and began to move his hips. She wrapped her legs around him and grabbed his butt pushing him deep inside her. He seemed to make up his mind then and began to move faster. She matched his pace and they fed off of each other's intensity. She bit down on his shoulder as hard as she could. He buried his head in her neck, his mouth was next to her ear and she could hear the little noises he was making. She whispered his name over and over again. She had never felt anything like this in her life. She turned her head to the side and bit down on his neck. She could feel him smile as he slammed into her. He growled and she could tell he was getting close. She couldn't hold back any longer and let herself go, her muscles clenching around him over and over again as he spilled himself inside her.

He collapsed against her body and she ran her fingernails up and down his back in a soothing manner while the other hand played with his hair at the bottom of his neck. She never wanted this moment to end, she felt far away and guarded inside of it. He pulled her close and kissed her jaw. They were both lost in each other… completely absorbed. He felt strangely protective of her, wanting to keep her safe and hidden there with him forever. He knew it wasn't right but he couldn't bring himself to care. The sun was beginning to creep in through the window casting shadows and doubts but they ignored it, choosing to focus on each other instead. They would have to face the consequences another day. They both knew reality was just outside the door waiting for them. They would put it off as long as they could, however short a time it turned out to be.

**red sam(acoustic)- flyleaf**


	10. listen to the rain

"Where is my daughter

**Note- hey all! Sorry so long between updates, been SO busy!! The economy is kicking my ass right now, I've been working so much just to pay the bills AND couldn't take money out of my account for today and maybe a few more days- I bank with Wachovia. It's a terrible thing :( ANYWAY- This is a bit short, but don't worry the next update will be tomorrow at the soonest, a few days at the very latest. It will be a glimpse inside Alice's crazy mind (oooooh!!) and perhaps a bit more. Thanks to everyone who reads! Love your feedback, keep it coming!! Thanks!**

"**Where is my daughter?!" **Bella was beside herself. A thousand different terrible thoughts went through her mind, and she couldn't help herself… she had to think them. Edward watched her pacing through narrowed eyes. This was everything he had feared. How had this happened? He had put too much faith in Alice and that was his mistake. Alice…

He turned his head slightly to the left as his mind reached out for her. He flinched and pulled it back slightly so the screaming wasn't so loud in his eardrums. Her thoughts had no control… it was just screaming. Despite all the shrieking in her conscience he was able make out a few actual words... Jasper… why… Renesmee… pay… why, why, _**why**_…

He shut her out completely and turned away from his wife to look out the window. He had to do something. He evaluated the situation. He knew where Renesmee was heading but Bella, of course, did not share this knowledge. He meant only to protect her, she would understand. After all these years he still had the same priorities, only one priority, and that was Bella Swan. When he met her he knew that he was finally whole. Protecting her was, in a way, protecting himself.

If he told her where their daughter was, she would go after her. It would be spontaneous and though most of his family refused to acknowledge this unpleasant fact, in this day and age spontaneity was dangerous for a vampire. Gone were the days when they could move easily amongst the humans, they days when they could scoff at their fragile mortality. The battle field evened with every passing day. There was no way he could allow his Bella to chase blindly after that girl with no plans… with no protection. His mind was set.

"Bella, love… please. We will find her. Emmett and I will go after her as soon as we've organized things. Please love, calm down…"

"Calm down?! Edward, for Christ's sake, our daughter is missing… she's probably so scared. We have to find her!"

He pulled her close and smelled her hair. She was so lovely, she was everything to him.

"We will find her. Think, Bella. Once we've calmed Alice she will use her sight to find her. Until then, it is safer for all of us to wait. What if she doesn't want to be found right now? Can we afford to make a scene… to be found out? She's a strong girl. She can take care of herself for now and besides, she's much safer out there without a group of vampires tailing her."

Bella nodded into his chest. He was right. Renesmee had her own self defense, one that none of the others would ever have again. She was alive.

They went to join the rest of their family in the study. Alice hadn't moved… she was still huddled in the corner of the room, rocking herself back and forth. Rosalie and Esme were sitting close together on the sofa. Emmett was standing off to the side; his hands were stained red from cleaning up what was left of Jacob's body. Carlisle stood a few feet away from Alice, watching her intently. Bella approached him and stood beside him. After a few moments he finally spoke.

"I never would have thought…" he glanced over at her. "Of all my children, I never thought it would be Alice to make a mistake like this." Everyone bowed their heads, all thinking the same thing._ 'it should have been Jasper'._

"When do think she will snap out of this?" Carlisle shook his head.

"Can't be sure. She… well, she's snapped, so to speak. Her mental state is-" He looked over at Edward who pursed his lips and looked down. "Severe, to say the least. I'm sorry. It seems the most we can do right now is to wait." He took her cold hand in his and squeezed lightly. "I am sorry for your loss, Bella. I know Jacob was special to you." She squeezed back and realization dawned on her.

"The treaty…"

"Yes. It has been broken. As I said, all we can do is wait… wait for Alice, wait for Renesmee, or wait for the dogs to come and seek their revenge… either way, sooner than later, something will give."

Bella was afraid. Though her dead heart hung still and cold in her chest, she could feel the blood rush faster through her veins. Edward stepped forward and draped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her away from the dreary eyed Carlisle and manically beautiful Alice.

"Come, love… let's get some air, shall we?" She nodded numbly and allowed herself to be led from the room.

It seemed that their world consisted of nothing but peril. Threats lurked around every corner. The human race was threatening her family's very existence. Even Bella's human father Charlie would kill her if he saw her now. The treaty Carlisle had forged with the vigilante dogs from La Push was now broken… just another enemy waiting for a weak moment to strike. She felt old and tired when she thought of all their problems. She leaned into her husband's embrace. He would take care of her… he always had. Edward pressed his lips to hers and she let herself get lost in him. She would wait, for a while. One way or another she was going to get her daughter back home where she belonged. If only Jasper was there, maybe he could soothe her with his moods. Her lips stopped moving.

"Edward."

"Hmm?"

"Where is Jasper?"

** listen to the rain- evanescence **


End file.
